The Psychosis of N: Final Mix
by Denizen Of Madness
Summary: In a world where the laws of physics both exist and simultaneously does not matter, we look into the life of an N who returned to Unova because he left the stove on. Warning: this story contains copious amounts of chaos and insanity.
1. On the dance floor

**A/N: Hello, gentle readers! I am the Denizen of Madness, the crazed writer of this story! Why is it called "Final Mix", you ask? Well, The Psychosis of N was one of my first fanfics, and thus, is of lower quality to what I am writing now. As such, Final Mix is a rewrite of my story with improved SpaG and prose. However, I will keep the original up for nostalgic purposes. Well, let's get on with the story!  
**

* * *

"God, N, separating Humans and Pokémon? That's got to be the most idiotic plan I have ever heard!" Black was angry beyond belief. It's perfectly understandable, what with Black finding out that his friend/rival/love interest (in certain fan girls crazy little minds) was the leader of the evil organization he made his lives mission to destroy for some reason. They stood inside of Chargestone cave, near the entrance

"Seriously, N, what goes on inside of your head!?" He honestly wanted to know about N's thought process. It didn't didn't make sense to any normal human being.

N didn't respond to Blacks' question; his train of thought had derailed off into a place where basic logic held no power. A place that made the 'Twilight Zone' look sane. It was...

inside his own imagination!

You, the reader are advised to wear protective gear over your eyes as we peer to the inside of N's mind...

* * *

BUM BUM BUM

A loud, ear thumping techno beat sounded throughout a large,  
seventies style dance club. Various Pokémon of all shapes and sizes danced to the funky beat, while others opted to sit at a bar tended by a Gardevoir and talked about their troubles, as many bar patrons would do. Suddenly, the spotlights that usually strobe around the place focused at the center of the dance floor.

Under, the glaring lights, a Beedrill and a Vespiquen began to dance like they actually were in the seventies, but with a slight difference. They danced to "Imma Bee", by the Black Eyed Peas. The various patrons stared in awe at the dance the bee Pokémon. Their elegant moves mesmerized the crowd.

The way that they moved their... thoraxes. Okay, I think we're done looking at this daydream. Let's go back outside, shall we?

* * *

And, we're back. Let's have a look at what transpired when we looked at Ns' mind.

N giggled like a toddler watching their favorite TV show."Hehe. It's funny because they're bees."

Black sighed and did a face palm. Why? Why did he bother trying to understand N?

Curiosity? Boredom? He wished that he knew. "You are a complete moron."


	2. Bedtime story

"My fellow sages of Team Plasma, I have made an important discovery," The Team Plasma Sage Ghetsis declared. "I have discovered that the Unova region was created by a giant Grey dragon that split into like 2 or 3 dragons for some reason." Ghetsis and the other six sages of Team Plasma had gathered in the castle's throne room, with Ghetsis standing before them.

Ghetsis, as usual, raised his hands in a dramatic fashion to encompass what his words meant.

Ryoku turned over and whispered to sage next to him, Giallo. "I think Ghetsis is losing his mind. First he says that a horse created the universe after popping out of an egg, then it exploded into 6 Pokémon, then this."

Ghetsis, upon hearing that, slithered up to Ryoku and got too close for comfort. "I heard that! I'm not crazy!" He hissed whilst making a disturbing face.

He quickly regained composure, somehow ending back at the place he originally stood at. He continued, while dramatically posing. "Anyway, we-"

"Daddy!" A small, high-pitched voice cried out from behind the sages.

Ghetsis cursed under his breath. Would he _ever _get to share his oh-so-exciting discovery with his sages?

The Sages turned around. The source of the voice was N, who was age 6 at the time. He was dressed in light blue footie pajamas and carried a stuffed Purloin doll.

Ghetsis sighed. "What do you want, N? It's past your bed time."

N pouted at Ghetsis. "Can you pwease wead me a stowy, Daddy?" N pulled out a book from what seemed to be nowhere and struggled to hold it over his head. The book was a rather large, hardcover book that was about 2,000 pages in legnth. The cover was green and read "1,002 tales of Unova" in navy blue lettering.

"Why can't you get the Goddesses or the Dark Trinity to read to you?"

"The Goddesses were busy and the Dawk Twinity were playing with their ninja toys."

"Fine," Ghetsis sighed. He walked past the other sages and escorted N to his bedroom.

* * *

After getting N situated in his bed, Ghetsis opened to a random page in the book and began to read.

"This one's called 'The Ugly Woobat.'"

_"'Once upon a time, there was an ugly Woobat. It was so ugly, everyone died.'"_

"The end." Ghetsis concluded, looking to N. "There, are you happy?"

N didn't respond. He was already fast asleep, cuddling with his stuffed Purloin.

Ghetsis, in a rare show of humanity, patted N on the head and did something he hadn't done since he began his massive plan that spanned multiple years.

He smiled a genuinely warm and happy smile.

"Good night, little one."

* * *

**A/N: Um, if it isn't too much of a bother, would you mind reviewing this, please? I would appreciate it very much so!**


	3. What kind of power is sexuality anyway?

Ghetsis fell to his knees with his arms shaking and screaming like a cliché villain. His plan... his wonderful plan that he hatched up in five seconds. It was simple: Blow up the castle using a couple Voltorbs when N and his stupid little threesome was inside, collect the insurance money, then move to the Hoenn region using a false identity, then live out the rest of his days in a blissful retirement. He even had a new name worked out : Dennis Harmonika.

"No! How could I lose again to mere children?!" Ghetsis waved a hand at N, Black, and White in a kinda-sorta dismissive manner. "Even with the help of my failure of a son, you should not have been able to beat me! My team was unstoppable!" He motioned to a Voltorb, a _very _ugly Woobat, and a Burmy, all of which were out cold and burnt severely by Reshiram's flames. "Where did that power come from? What sort of power was that?" Ghetsis spat, quickly losing what little sanity he had left.

"Ghetsis, isn't it obvious?" White raised her arm like a heroine from some cheesy comic. "Our powers are love!"

Black adjusted his hat in a 'cool' way and smirked. "Justice!"

N smirked. "Sexuality," He said in a sultry voice as he came up from behind them and grabbed their shoulders.

Upon hearing this, Black tried to hold in laughter. And he absolutely failed at it.

White, on the other hand, blushed, and then smacked the back of Ns' head. "Would you stop?"

_'My son is a pervert,' _Ghetsis thought, with an embarrassed sweat drop forming on his head.

"Anyway," White said, regaining composure. "Ghetsis, for crimes against humanity, several attempts at manslaughter, child abuse, and just for being a gigantic douche bag, you are under arrest!" White dashed at the (formerly) glorius "leader" of Team Plasma, only to be met by a tranquilizer dart to the neck. She fell onto her stomach instantly, unable to move. Two darts also hit N and Black.

Ghetsis set loose a mad cackle and a slasher grin, as he was surrounded by the only people left in the universe stupid enough to follow him- the Dark Trinity*.

"What took you tools so long?!" Ghetsis scolded the ninja trio like they were children.

"I humbly apologize, my liege," One of them said in a sorrowful tone as they all bowed their heads in shame.

"Just get me out of here!" They complied happily. Two of the ninjas grabbed Ghetsis' shoulders, one apiece. The four did their teleport-y routine and fled. "Where's your power now, bitches!" Ghetsis shouted as he faded from view.

You may be wondering why they didn't just kill them then and there. This is because they are all idiots.

Our heroes were still barely conscious, and as Black began to faint, he muttered, "I should have struck a cooler pose..."

* * *

**A/N: So, this used to be way shorter, but I expanded on it a bit. Yay me~! And yes, that is in fact a Tales of Vespiria reference. I merely heard the quote, though. I've never played the game.**

***They're the Shadow Triad in the english version. But I prefer the japanese name.  
**


End file.
